ONE DOWN….

.… a mere forty-seven months to go.

I began writing this on the one month Anniversary of the founding of America’s First Reich. As I considered what I should comment on to memorialize this low point in our history, I quickly realized that there were so many items that it would take me a full month to list them all, let alone comment on them.

Alas, there are just too many nauseating, disturbing, mind blowing events that occurred during this historic first month. All in all, this must be what taking the brown acid at Woodstock must have felt like, without the kickass soundtrack.

But I think there are some themes that have emerged and that’s what I’ll identify.

Show Me The Minerals…

Between 1896 and 1899, thousands engaged in what was known as the Klondike Gold Rush. At least we actually owned Alaska thanks to Seward’s Folly in 1867 when we bought the place from the Russians for a cool, priced to move, $7.2 million.

Fast forward to 2025 and the Ukraine Lithium Rush. According to the United Nations – obviously a group of radical left leaning “deep state” styled bureaucrats – Ukraine comprises only 0.4% of the earth’s surface yet contains approximately 5% of the earth’s rare minerals.

Put another way, according to the European Union, Ukraine contains 21 of 30 recognized rare minerals. Among them are lithium, cobalt, scandium, graphite, tantalum, and niobium. These are critical to the implementation of “green energy” policies.

I’m not going to lie. I don’t know my tantalum from my scandium. We know that graphite has many applications from pencils to nuclear reactors. Niobium is used in superalloys, superconductors, and quantum computers. In full transparency, I looked niobium up.

On the other hand, lithium is used in the manufacture of computer chips and electric batteries. It also is used in behavioral medications. Hmmm, who could be interested in these applications?

Our president is not steeped in history or a is scholar in geopolitics. And he never met an alliance that he liked. Neither does he know much about democracy, possibly because it’s a “d” word and he never got that far in the alphabet at U.Penn.

But he is transactional and not averse to stomping on someone, friend or foe, when he’s down.

Trump said he’d end the war in Ukraine in 24 hours of his presidency. As some of us pointed out, he didn’t say which 24 hours. That’s TBD.

But he did start negotiations with … the Russians. Trump called Mad Vlad Putin, and according to Don the Con they had a very nice call.

More importantly, Secretary of State “little” Marco Rubio, nation security advisor Mike Waltz,  and special envoy Steve Witkoff met with the Russians in the world’s diplomatic capital, Geneva Switzerland.

Naaahhh, JK. They actually met in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. Why? Who the hell knows? Maybe the pasty looking Russians needed to work on their tans. But why were the Saudi’s at the table? Maybe because they could observe Trump’s crack team in action so they could see how Trump’s Middle East Riviera fantasy could become a reality. After all, ethnic cleansing prohibitions are mere guidelines.

After the phone convos and face-to-face meetings, the Americans, ostensibly Ukraine’s ally, couldn’t wait to get in front of cameras so they could dump on Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelenskyy. Why? Because he’s responsible for the war with Russia? Because he’s a dictator?

No. Because he wouldn’t take Trump’s mineral grab deal.

Trump, understanding Al Capone’s axiom that you can get more with a smile and a gun than just a smile, made Zelenskyy an offer he couldn’t refuse – give us 50% of the profits from the exploitation of Ukraine’s minerals or …?

Don the Con is ready to go full gangsta.

But one thing “Boss” Don of the American crime family will find out is that he’s either going to send a percentage of the profits up to his boss “Mad Vlad” of the Russian crime family, or cut Vlad in for a piece of that sweet Ukrainian mineral action.

To clarify, let’s say Tony Soprano wants to muscle in on a successful business, a nightclub. He then goes to the owner demanding a 50% cut of the profits or else the business would no longer be protected from unforeseen fires. Tony will have to share a portion of his gain with his boss, Johnny Sack. But Johnny doesn’t want a taste, he wants a piece of the club. So Tony tells the club owner that another 25% of the profits will go to Johnny.

Tony and Johnny realize that over the long run they’ve dealt the club a lethal blow. But they don’t care. They’ll milk what they can out of the business until it collapses for lack of funds. But that’s fine, they’ll move on to the next business to exploit right after burning to club down for the insurance money.

That illustrates our proposed policy towards Ukraine. Today, in the United Nations General Assembly, the United States voted “no” on a resolution holding Russia responsible for the for the war with Ukraine. And we abstained from voting on a separate resolution calling for the war’s end.

We’re through the looking glass now! By the way, Happy Third Anniversary of Ukraine’s invasion of Russia!

The CPAC Chainsaw Mirage…

Last week, our unelected, unappointed, unsupervised, Chief broligarch, and evident consigliere to Don the Con, Elon Musk went to the Conservative Political Action Conference waiving a chain saw around the stage while babbling incoherently. (See the above lithium discussion)

At least he didn’t bring a wood chipper.

This nut job is the head (or is he?) of the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), although there seems some confusion as to his exact role. I’m sure that it’s coincidence that his government/nongovernment function/nonfunction shares the name of his favorite cryptocurrency, Dogecoin. In fact he likes it so much that he accepts Dogecoin in payment for his Teslas.

In fact, Tesla has $1 billion in Dogecoin on its books. As if Tesla didn’t have enough trouble with sales dropping, if the value of Dogecoin were to drop it would put the company in a pretty pickle.

This is the guy who may – or may not – being taking his beloved chainsaw to our federal government.

This all begs the questions, “what is DOGE,” “where did it come from,” and “what is its legal authority to order delivery pizza?”

Prior to Trump’s election, Musk posted on “X” that there was a need for a review of the federal bureaucracy. He suggested that there be a creation of a Department of Government Efficiency or DOGE. Post election, in November 2024, the newly elected former president announced that Elon Musk would lead DOGE.

This, of course, raised the question of where to put it. To be completely honest, I had several suggestions but none were accepted.

Instead DOGE replaced an existing organization, the United States Digital Service. This was created in 2014 to provide consultation services to federal departments in the areas of information technologies. It sought to improve digital services such as websites in order to provide better government services to the American people.

In 2025, via Executive Order, the name was changed to United States DOGE Service (USDS). Under USDS, a temporary organization named U.S. DOGE Service Temporary Organization (USDSTO) was created.

I think it’s safe to say that these Trump/Musk guys totally suck at naming things. But as it would soon become clear, this isn’t the only thing they suck at.

USDSTO is an 18-month temporary organization tasked with advancing Trump’s “18-month DOGE Agenda.” To recap, a guy whose idea of efficiency is how many things he can break before he’s allowed to play golf created an “organization” that is a ripoff of an existing organization headed (or not) by a guy with no complex organization experience who in turn hired a 19-year-old guy who goes by the name “big balls” (whose self aggrandizement is astounding) to gas up the chainsaw used to destroy the operations of government that millions rely on.

Got it?

If you may be thinking that some of this is legally dubious, you’re too smart to work for DOGE. There are constitutional issues (e.g., Appointments Clause, 5th Amendment due process), statutory (e.g., Impoundment Act of 1974) civil service issues (e.g., discharge for cause), and many more too numerous to list.

Over the past weekend, Elon sent out emails to approximately 2 million federal employees, directing them to list and explain in five bullet points detailing their past week’s activities. Failure to respond would constitute a de facto resignation.

Quick Question: who’s going to read and evaluate 2 million emailed responses? Certainly not someone named “big balls.” I mean, and no disrespect here, he doesn’t go by “big brain!”

If possible, this has created even more confusion on top of the confusion extant thanks to other DOGE edicts and activities, Trump’s pronouncements, and Trump’s cabinet officials. Some departments have instructed their employees to comply with the request; others instructed their employees not to respond. Still others even argued that as agency/department heads, they were responsible for managing their personnel.

I think I know who’s on the next RIF list…

Now I don’t work for the Feds but I’d like to respond anyway:

·      I watched parts of the Celts/Knicks and Warriors/Mavs games;

·      I started to review players for my Fantasy Baseball leagues which given the number of leagues I’m in takes a good deal of time;

·      I timed the rate of snow melt in order to create a baseline to measure the efficiency of the melting process;

·      I looked at several European countries’ requirements for ex-Pat status (looking for “a friend”); and,

·      I wrote this piece.

Crap! Trump just pulled rank on Musk and through the White House Personnel Office told the 2 million employees that they didn’t have to respond to Musk’s order! I’m sorry but I’m leaving my list. I have 47 seconds of my life invested in that list.

Look, this stuff is asinine. Could government service at all levels be improved? Absolutely. Is there “waste” and “fraud?” Sure. That occurs in all large organizations. On a personal note, I’ve had the opportunity to interact on behalf of clients with an array of federal and state governmental offices.

The vvaaasssstttt majority of government workers were pleasant, helpful, and professional.

Sure you get the occasional unpleasant grump, but you sometimes get a grump at the supermarket checkout register. Deal with it snowflakes. The exceptions truly do prove the rule.

I don’t want to rehash all the various discharges and impoundments. Most of them are in the early stages of litigation. But if you think that these DOGE decisions were the result of thoughtful and rigorous processes, consider this: why are they trying to contact the experts on avian flu and the techies who secure and maintain our nuclear arsenal to return to the positions they were just sacked from?

Bottom line, “chainsaw” Musk is slashing and burning the government like he did when he bought Twitter, and we know what a clunky, toxic cesspool that’s become.

Going into the first days of the second month, Trump through his Hegseth lapdog, discharged the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs (black) and the Chief of Naval Operations (female), along with three of the top military attorneys. Lapdog assures us that this is perfectly normal. Someone throw that dog a bone.

And there is further reason to be concerned, Trump appointed former NYC cop, former Secret Service agent, former commentator on State Media Fox News, author, and creator of the pro-Trump website Bongino Reports, Dan Bongino to be assistant FBI Director. Anti-COVID vaccines but pro-insurrectionists, and vocal critic of the FBI, he will be nutjob Ka$h Patel’s right-hand man.

He’s also a snowflake, or cupcake…whatever. He once blocked me on Twitter when I called out his bullshit. For a guy who claims to “own the libs,” gotta say Danny Boy, I don’t feel “owned.”

In any event, between Bongino blocking me on Twitter and Musk exiling me from “X,” I must be doing something right.

Like I said at the open, one month down, 47 more to go. Like me you might want to keep a paper bag ready for when you start hyperventilating.