STUPID MAGA TRICKS

[NOTE: this post was written over the course of several days. The result is that it captured events in real time. That is reflected within.]

Years ago, David Letterman’s late night television show would occasionally run a segment called “Stupid Pet Tricks.” Pet owners would submit videos of their pets doing wacky things like cats chewing dog bones, bunnies hopping backwards, parrots swearing like a sailor on shore leave, that sort of thing.

Over the past two weeks, whatever could go wrong in MAGA Land did. Predictably, MAGA republicans’ responses have been, well, wanting. To be clear, I don’t mean all republicans, just MAGA republicans. It is in in the spirit of Letterman’s show that the following comments are offered.

Any Road Will Get You There

You may have noticed that one-half of one of the three coequal branches of the government is not working. At all. Literally not working. Recall that Matt Gaetz and seven others overthrew the Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy. McCarthy’s ultimate offense was keeping the government from shutting down until November 17.

For over three weeks, MAGA representatives have been trying to find someone stupid enough, craven enough, to seek the Speakership. As October 23, there have been 11 people with those qualities seeking that office. I’m surprised the number is so low, but the month isn’t over yet.

The first two MAGA “designates” were as forecast in my previous post, Steve Scalise and Jim (aka Gym) Jordan. Scalise was up first. Winning the nomination as the designate for the republicans to be the next Speaker, Scalise’s quest lasted about one day. Almost immediately after winning the designation of the Republican caucus, beating Jordan by 113 to 99, as many as 30 MAGA congressmen announced that under no circumstances would they vote for Scalise to be McCarthy’s successor.

Scalise’s quest was over before any votes were cast. Not being math challenged and knowing the crazies in his caucus better than most, he withdrew from the race rather than incur a public ignominious defeat.

Speaking of crazies and ignominious defeats, cue Jim Jordan. At least Jordan put his designated candidacy to a vote – three times. And he lost each time. And not only did he lose all three times, but Jordan also bled votes on the second and third ballots.

To put it in perspective, Democrat Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries received more votes than Jordan. All three times. And Jeffries never stood a chance of becoming the successor to McCarthy.

One would think that a 16-year House veteran, who has passed no legislation, who has chaired an impeachment inquiry that has produced no evidence of wrongdoing, whose sole affect is to behave as a thug, would somehow have risked his own debasement. But then nobody ever alleged that Jordan was a master strategist or a deep thinker.

However, if there was an award for individual debasement it would go to Kevin McCarthy. On the third and final vote, McCarthy gave a nominating speech on Jordan’s behalf. Describing Jordan’s skills as a legislator and leader in terms that are reminiscent of Daniel Webster, Henry Clay, Sam Rayburn and Lyndon Johnson was absolutely cringe worthy.

McCarthy has his own issues to work through. He blames the “Gaetz Eight” for his demise. He blames the democrats for his demise. In fact, he blames everyone he doesn’t see in a mirror when he shaves for his demise. And he supported Scalise who lost. He supported Jordan and he lost. Now he’s supporting Majority Whip Tom Emmer, the new Republican designee.

Look out Tom.

This just in: after three whole hours as the Republican designee for Speaker, Emmer dropped out. Evidently not being an election denier is a disqualification in the Republican caucus. However he made Scalise feel better about having lasted longer in his race to be Speaker.

Or Kevin McCarthy’s endorsement is the kiss of death. The same could be said for New York congressman and bootlicker supreme Elise Stefanik.

Holy smoke! The corpse of Emmer’s failed run for the Speakership wasn’t even cold when a fourth guy has been designated by the caucus to run for Speaker. Representative Mike Johnson (La.) is what you’d expect from the hard right-wing nuts in the House – anti women’s right to choose, anti-marriage equality, a favorite of the Christian right, opposed to legislation to keep the government open, and is an active election denier. He voted against accepting the electoral votes from Pennsylvania and submitted an amicus brief in support of Texas’ lawsuit seeking to disqualify the electoral votes from several (Biden) states.

It appears that the congressional republicans have found their lowest common denominator.

And finally, after 22 days without a Speaker the republicans pulled the proverbial rabbit out of their hats. The rabbit’s name is Mike Johnson, and he won the support of the unanimous caucus.

I’m sure somewhere Kevin McCarthy was breathing heavily into a paper bag.

Flippers

Flippers are not just dolphins, they can also be attorneys. Especially in Georgia.

Two-thirds of Trump’s “elite strike force” investigating election “fraud” after the 2020 election have copped pleas in District Attorney Fani Willis’ conspiracy action against 19 individuals, Trump included, for various counts of election interference and fraud.

Sidney Powell (the “Kraken” lady) and Jenna Ellis each pleaded to various counts, received probation for multiple years, were ordered pay a fine, make a public apology, and truthfully testify at any future trials. Powell, who was the first to enter her plea, copped to six misdemeanors; Ellis copped to one felony.

Independent of the above attorneys is former White House attorney Kenneth Chesebro who entered his plea to one felony count under substantially the same conditions as Powell and Ellis. He waited until jury selection was ready to begin before he entered his plea. Evidently, he realized that Willis was serious.

Aside from having a good laugh, what’s the import of these pleas? Well, Rudy Giuliani is probably sweating hair dye as you read this. Especially Ellis seems to be ready to throw Rudy, and to some extent the Kraken, under the metaphorical bus. And since Krakens don’t do well in confined spaces, she’ll likely finger Giuliani and possibly others in the White House. Hmmm, I wonder who that might be?

As for Chesebro, he’s got to be ready to turn on “Professor” Eastman regarding the “legal” basis for overturning the will of the people. Possibly he’ll bring in Mark Meadows and others on the White House staff.

Three attorneys, three pleas, no jail time. These attorneys used their training and skills to undermine the tenant of our democracy – free and fair elections.

Ellis: University of Richmond School of Law; criminal penalty, five years suspended sentence, fine of $5,000, 100 hours of community service.

Powell: University of North Carolina School of Law; criminal penalty, 6 years suspended sentence; $6,000 fine; $2,700 restitution.

Chesebro: Harvard Law School; criminal penalty, five years of probation, $5,000 in restitution, 100 hours of community service, and agreed to testify against Trump and the remaining defendants.

These are people who went to respectable, if not elite law schools. They had to know that any assertion of election fraud was baseless. Especially Chesebro, a former student of Lawrence Tribe, had to realize how cockamamie his theory to undermine the counting of electoral votes was.

There is a great argument that because of their training each should have seen the inside of a cell. They not only debased themselves, but they also debased the legal profession and the rule of law. Attorneys take an oath to uphold the law, not subvert it. And it places in stark relief the criticism that there is a two-tier legal system, one for the elites and one for the rest of us.

Yet there is another point of view. In law school, lawyers are taught the conspiracy cases are like wheels. The is a center and connected spokes. The center represents the prime conspirators, the spokes those advancing the aims of the conspiracy.

However, to better understand what’s happening in Georgia it’s better to think of a conspiracy as a pyramid. Sitting at the top, in this instance, is Donald Trump. As the pyramid spreads out, others are acting to advance the conspiracy’s criminal scheme. At the bottom are the low-level foot soldiers.

Willis is picking off these foot soldiers by offering a deal that would normally not be offered, with no jail as the cherry on top, in exchange for truthful and useful testimony against those further up on the pyramid.

In order to justify these sweet deals, each must have significant information and a willingness to testify under oath in a criminal trial. This is how conspiracy prosecutions work, from the bottom up.

And this just in, Mark Meadows, Trump’s last Chief of Staff and active on January 6th, may have already received an immunity agreement from Special Counsel Jack Smith. If true, this only applies to the federal case against Trump in Washington.

Currently Meadows, indicted in the Georgia conspiracy, has a case before the Eleventh Circuit to remove his case from state court to the federal district court – you know, the one where Jack Smith practices. My guess is that he won’t succeed for reasons too numerous to list here but let’s just say that what he is alleged to have done is not within the scope of the Chief of Staff’s normal duties.

If he doesn’t succeed in removing his case, it’s certain that Willis will reach out to Meadows. And since it seems that Meadow’s prime mission in life is not to get fitted with an orange jump suit…..look out Donnie.

In the South, there’s a saying that “rattlesnakes don't commit suicide,” Before all the drama plays out, I think that saying will be proven wrong.

Speaking of rattlesnakes

As we ponder whether or not rattlesnakes commit suicide, let us also consider if they destroy each other. The answer to that question might be found in a New York State courthouse.

As you may know, Donald Trump, his two adult sons, and the Trump Organization are being civilly prosecuted for, among other things, fraud. It seems that the valuation of some or all of the Trump properties were manipulated either to obtain financing from various institutions or to avoid paying taxes to various government entities.

In a prior bench trial, the judge found that fraud had been committed. The only question remaining is the amount to be reimbursed to the various defrauded parties. Trump did not attend the bench trial but now that there’s money at stake, he’s a regular attendee.

It’s not that Trump has been quiet during these hearings. He’s basically called everyone associated with with these hearings the names he’s so famous for. Style and grace are not hallmarks of Donald Trump.

It got to the point that when, on social media, Trump cast a salacious and untrue aspersion against the court law clerk, the judge imposed a gag order and ordered the post to be taken down from Trump’s social media site, “Truth” Social. Who says Trump has no sense of humor?

Trump did take down the offending post from Truth Social and uploaded it onto his campaign web site. While Trump might have a sense of humor, the judge doesn’t. It cost Trump $5000 for violating the gag order. Trump no doubt put an appeal on his personal and campaign internet outlets for money to pay the fine.

Now add to that Trump, during a lunch break was running his mouth in the courthouse lobby complaining about the corrupt judge and the “person next to him.” The judge was informed of this and before the afternoon session began, the judge called Trump to take the witness stand, swore him in, and asked about him once more about Trump’s disparaging comments about the clerk. Trump testified (i.e., lied) that he referred to the witness (Michael Cohen) and not the clerk. The judge didn’t believe Trump and added an additional $10,000 to his tab.

Which brings us to the present proceedings. The prosecution needed a witness who could describe how these property valuations were calculated. Enter Trump archenemy, the aforementioned Michael Cohen.

Cohen is testifying for the prosecution as to the genesis of these valuations. According to him, Trump would inform CFO Allen Weisselberg and Cohen that he had provided a prospective lender of the the total value of his worth and to calculate the value of each of Trump’s properties to support his assertion.

In other words, Trump ordered them to cook the books.

Weisselberg had previously pleaded guilty to 15 counts of tax fraud and in a deal with the

Manhattan District Attorney, Weisselberg agreed to testify against the Trump Organization but refused to testify directly against others, especially Trump. He was fined $1.6 million and sentenced to five months at Rikers Island. He served four months.

Consistent with his prior testimony that he acted alone, it will be interesting to see whether he’s called as a witness in the instant trial to rebut Cohen’s testimony. Meanwhile Trump’s attorney and mouthpiece, Alina Habba, on cross examination is trying to undermine Cohen’s credibility by bringing up prior false statements he made in a prior court proceeding.

It’s hard to feel good about Cohen. A graduate of Western Michigan University Thomas M. Cooley Law School, he became Trump’s fixer. For instance, he was instrumental in funneling hush money to silence two porn stars prior to the 2016 election.

Cohen is another lawyer who should have known that he was skirting, if not violating the law. Too bad, so sad.

There is a misimpression that, thanks to Trump, people think that the Trump Organization is a complicated corporation employing hundreds if not thousands of people. In fact, it is a family run LLC that, including family, employs 12-20 people. Everyone else is a contractor. Michael Cohen was a contractor.

Wikipedia puts it succinctly:

“In August 2018, Cohen pleaded guilty to eight counts including campaign finance violations, and bank fraud. Cohen said he violated campaign-finance laws at Trump's direction "for the principal purpose of influencing" the 2016 presidential election. In November 2018, Cohen pleaded guilty to lying to U.S. congressional committees about efforts to build a Trump Tower in Moscow.” He entered a plea agreement that ordered him to pay a $50,000 fine and to serve a three-year prison sentence.

In the early stages of his prison sentence, which essentially coincided with the COVID outbreak, Cohen applied for and received permission to serve the remainder of his sentence on home confinement. In spite of Cohen’s years of service, Trump urged his Attorney General, William Barr, to return Cohen to prison, which Barr did.

At its heart, Cohen’s reconfinement was due in no small measure that Cohen refused to agree to refrain from any contact with the media or write a book. Litigation ensued and Cohen finally was allowed to serve the remainder of his sentence on home confinement.

And he did write a book titled Revenge. Tres apropos.

Stupid MAGA Tricks Reconsidered

Unlike Letterman’s “Stupid Pet Tricks” there’s nothing remotely funny about the above. Instead of delivering laughs, these guys have tried and continue to try delivering a punch to the jaw of our democracy. These guys don’t have any respect for law, except for when they’re caught. It’s only then that they have no shortage of faux contrition.

The debacle in the House was caused by a self-centered, back bencher, fame whore, wannabe next governor of Florida. He was one of the last holdouts after 14 ballots in January, forcing McCarthy to sell whatever soul he had left to obtain the devil Gaetz’s vote.

As time went on, Gaetz had two problems with McCarthy: one, McCarthy did not stop the House Ethics Committee’s investigation into Gaetz’s premarital dating habits; and two, McCarthy cut a deal with democrats to keep the government open.

One of the things about reading history is that sometimes you come across a mistake someone makes and you ask, “how could they have been so dumb?” Generations from now readers and students will ask the same question about us.

And make no mistake, although Mike Johnson is a grade A, first class Christofascist misogynistic Asshole, he is now Speaker of the House. He is a full MAGA. He is Jim Jordan with a suit jacket, a brain and skills. He may be worse than Jordan. Jordan had no ideology beyond gaining power, Johnson is a true believer with an agenda that he is now in a position to impose on the rest of us.

But he wasn’t the big winner. Nor was Matt Gaetz for that matter. The big, really huge, winner is the failed, twice impeached, once found liable for sexual assault, four times indicted on ninety-one felonies, Donald John Trump. If Trump could have drawn an outline of the qualities he’d have liked to see in McCarthy’s successor, it would look like Johnson.

As this was being drafted on the evening of October 25, a guy with a AR-15 style rifle went into a bowling alley and a bar and killed 18 people. When the new Speaker, an ardent gun control opponent, was asked to comment the next day, the 26th, he literally offered thoughts and prayer.

So far, the law has held despite the best efforts of some to subvert it. The flippings in the Georgia conspiracy case and to some degree in the New York fraud trial were not because these highly trained and well experience attorneys had an epiphany. These guys flipped because it was in their naked self-interest to do so.

Remember, these were not passive attorneys advising others on a legal way to proceed in advancing their interests. These attorneys actively subverted the law and accepted legal practice to ensure the continuation in office of an anti-democratic authoritarian.

As an aside, andnn as referenced above, the new Speaker organized 100 “lawmakers” to sign an amicus brief that was filed with the Supreme Court on the monumentally baseless case Texas v. Pennsylvania, an attempt to disqualify the electoral votes from five states all of which, I’m sure coincidentally, Biden won.

This is what MAGA government looks like. This is what the incremental creep of authoritarianism looks like. This is what the erosion of democracy and the rule of law looks like.

This must be stopped before it goes any further. To those who don’t “do politics” and don’t act, get ready to don’t “do” your rights and the promise of fair treatment under law. We have big problems both domestically and internationally that we need to address, and soon.

I promise you that this MAGA crew, for all the exhortations of the “People’s House,” for all their efforts to establish a non-extant dual system of Justice, have absolutely no intent to govern.

They mean to rule.